Making the decision to end a marriage is never simple, and what comes next can feel just as overwhelming as the decision itself. Knowing how to prepare before any paperwork is filed can significantly reduce the stress, cost, and uncertainty that so often define the process. Attorney Julie Hlywa, a Macomb County family law lawyer with over two decades of experience helping Michigan families through some of their most difficult moments, emphasizes that preparation is one of the most powerful things a person can bring to a divorce.
This guide walks through the practical steps that matter most: gathering your financial records, thinking through custody arrangements, and understanding what those first legal steps actually look like.
Start With Your Financial Picture
Before you consult with a lawyer or file anything with a court, get a clear picture of your financial situation. Divorce requires full disclosure of marital finances, and the more organized you are from the start, the smoother the process tends to go. What you want to gather falls into several categories.
First, pull together income documentation. This includes recent tax returns (at least two to three years), pay stubs, W-2s, and any documentation of self-employment income, bonuses, or investment income. Courts rely heavily on income figures when calculating both spousal support and child support, so accuracy here matters.
Second, document all assets. This means bank account statements, retirement and pension account statements, brokerage accounts, vehicle titles, and real estate records including the deed to your home and any appraisals. If either spouse owns a business interest, records related to that business should be included as well. Take stock of major personal property: vehicles, furniture, jewelry, and any items of significant value.
Third, compile a complete picture of your debts. Mortgage statements, credit card balances, car loans, student loans, and any other outstanding liabilities should all be accounted for. Michigan courts apply the principle of equitable distribution when dividing marital property, which means assets and debts are divided fairly but not necessarily equally. The court considers factors like the length of the marriage, each spouse’s financial situation, contributions to the marriage, and each person’s earning potential going forward.
One important distinction to understand early is the difference between marital property and separate property. Assets acquired before the marriage, or received as gifts or inheritances during the marriage, are generally treated as separate property and stay with the original owner. Assets accumulated during the marriage, including retirement funds contributed while married, typically fall into the marital estate. Getting clear on this boundary before your first legal consultation will help you ask better questions and understand the advice you receive.
Custody Planning: Putting the Children First
If you have minor children, custody and parenting time will be among the most significant issues in your divorce. Michigan courts approach all child custody decisions through the lens of what is in the best interests of the child, weighing a set of statutory factors that include the emotional bond between each parent and the child, each parent’s ability to provide stability and meet the child’s needs, the child’s established relationships at school and in the community, and the willingness of each parent to support the child’s relationship with the other parent.
In Macomb County, the Friend of the Court (FOC) plays a central role when children are involved. The FOC is a division of the Circuit Court that handles investigations and recommendations on custody, parenting time, and child support. Understanding that your case will likely pass through the FOC is important, because their recommendations carry significant weight with the court.
There are two types of custody to think about: legal custody, which refers to decision-making authority over major issues like education, healthcare, and religion, and physical custody, which refers to where the child primarily lives. Most Macomb County cases result in joint legal custody, allowing both parents to share in major decisions, unless circumstances make that arrangement unworkable. Physical custody arrangements vary much more widely depending on each family’s situation.
Before consulting an attorney, think through what a realistic parenting schedule would look like given your work schedule, your children’s school routine, each parent’s proximity to the children’s school and activities, and your ability to cooperate with your spouse. You do not need all the answers going in, but having thought it through helps you and your attorney develop a position that is genuinely focused on your children’s wellbeing rather than reactively formed in the middle of a legal dispute.
Understanding the Legal Process in Michigan
Michigan is a no-fault divorce state. You do not need to prove that your spouse did anything wrong in order to file. The legal standard is simply that the marital relationship has broken down and there is no reasonable likelihood it can be restored. This framework is designed to reduce unnecessary conflict and keep the focus on practical resolution.
One spouse must have lived in Michigan for at least 180 days and in the county where the case is filed for at least 10 days before filing. All divorces in Macomb County are filed with the Circuit Court in Mount Clemens. Michigan law also imposes mandatory waiting periods: at least 60 days for couples without minor children, and 180 days for those with children. These waiting periods begin once the complaint for divorce is filed and cannot be waived, though exceptions exist in limited circumstances.
Once a complaint is filed, the other spouse must be formally served. From there, both parties exchange financial information, and temporary orders may be put in place covering things like child custody, support, and use of the marital home while the case works through the court. Many cases are resolved through negotiation or mediation before ever reaching trial, which typically results in a faster and less costly outcome for both parties.
Your First Step: Get Legal Guidance Early
The single most important thing you can do in the early stages of a divorce is consult an attorney before making major financial or parenting decisions. Moving money between accounts, relocating with children, or agreeing to verbal arrangements with your spouse without legal advice can all create complications that are difficult to undo.
A family law consultation is not a commitment to litigate. It is an opportunity to understand your rights, clarify what the process will look like for your specific situation, and develop a realistic strategy. Julie Hlywa offers free, confidential consultations for people navigating divorce and family law matters throughout Macomb County, including residents of Sterling Heights, Warren, Clinton Township, Shelby Township, and the surrounding communities.
Divorce is genuinely hard, but preparation transforms it from something that happens to you into something you move through with clarity. Getting organized, thinking ahead on custody, and taking that first legal step are how you protect yourself and your family when it matters most.
